#benitez save me benitez…

[maudlin-st]

thinking about benitez….

[saulesart]

Innocentius blessing turtles

(Inspired by icons of St Francis of Assisi)

[guanuji]

[gerardpilled]

Anon response and Conclave spoilers under the read more :3

Yess! Ultimately I think the conversation read less offensive than offensive. I think it was saved by the “some would say my chromosomes would make me a woman, but I am also how you see me” (paraphrasing) part. His identity is one removed from his chromosomes and sexual organs lol. And yes I think it fits in well with the theme and helps to resolve the religious conflict of our main character. Lawrence was doubting the existence of god and through the election of Benitez he found god again. And the previous pope was experiencing doubts about the church and his trust in Benitez proves he ended his life with hope for the future. Such a complex and thematically rich movie that at surface level can also be fun and engaging :)

[inmh01]

Far Cry 6

Replaying this game, I forgot just how badly they tried to convince me that Dani was in danger of being corrupted by power/becoming a single-minded guerilla hungry for war.

Like, Lucky Mama goes on about how “similar” they are to Lobo, and says she’ll take them out if they try to take power in Yara; then there’s Juan’s little “you stopped me from murdering a literal fucking child because you don’t want the war to end” thing, and it’s just...

There’s zero lead-up here that I can see. This isn’t like with Jason, where they show him becoming progressively more unhinged over the course of the game as he comes under Citra’s influence. The moment when he has to torture his brother to make sure he’s not caught while trying to save him, for instance, is a straightforward “what am I becoming?” moment where both Jason and the audience realize that his mental state has darkened significantly from the beginning of the game. He is not the person he was before Rook Island.

Dani does not have that moment, that I can see. I can’t really think of anything Dani does canonically that should be giving off “I am hungry for power” vibes, or “I am becoming dangerously comfortable with violence” vibes. Nothing in their interactions with La Moral or the Legends, nothing in how they interact with Maximas Matanzas, or the Monteros.

Throughout the game, they seem blatantly devoted to Clara and Libertad. There’s zero sense that Dani desires to be the leader; they take instruction from Clara pretty faithfully. And I struggle to think of a moment where Dani does anything blatantly immoral. I don’t recall any missions that require them to murder innocent people, or to torture anyone.

The stuff that might cross a line always seems to be in the hands of another character, while Dani watches. Camila sticking the grenade in Jose’s mouth, Matias lowkey torturing the doctor you have to chase down in the penultimate Maximas Matanzas mission, La Moral stringing up Benitez’s body (which Dani even suggests is a bad idea)...

Like I just don’t see a deterioration in their character suggesting that there’s something darker going on in their head that might cause them to present a threat to Yara. Dani’s angry, but never canonically does anything that comes across as crossing a line. They never stand out among the other guerilla characters, and in fact sometimes seem more reserved than them.

idk it just sounds like they were trying to shoehorn this “power corrupts! war corrupts! soldiers never want a war to end!” message in and they just did not do the work necessary to build that up.

It’s kind of reminiscent of Far Cry 5 trying to do the skeptical “oh, the Deputy thinks they’re a hero!” thing when... Well yeah, they are the hero, because the villains are dangerous psychopaths murdering everyone and the deputy never goes any further than I would reasonably expect a person in a time of war/life-or-death conflict to go. The closest thing I’ve ever seen was someone nitpicking about how they dropped John on the ground in his final cutscene (didn’t put the insane, murderous, torturing cultist down gently enough, which I guess makes Dep as bad as Eden’s Gate 🙄).

You don’t give me any evidence of them becoming dangerously unhinged or becoming the enemy they’re fighting, so having those concerns coming out of the mouths of other characters just comes across as totally hollow. The only people who are going to buy that are the ones that aren’t actually paying attention.

[xochitomat]

Enter the Berryverse, Part 1: Brazen Promise and Pure Imagination

Based on characters from Roald Dahl's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."

 “Oh no, this cant be happening!“

Fucia Benitez chewed her wad of gum faster. She felt the knot of dread in her stomach grow larger.

“I - I - I totally blew it!”

The college girl pursed her lips and shut her eyes in dismay.

POP!

went the piece of chicle between her teeth as she bit down on it again. The rhythmic motion was the only way she was coping with the results of her term paper staring back at her on the laptop screen. Her first semester of business school was not going great.

Though she had started off strong and with lots of determination, her grades gradually started to falter. Now, an economics essay on the dangers of inflation stood to seal her fate for good.

“I could fail out because of this. I could lose my scholarship.” She knew her parents couldn’t afford to pay tuition out of pocket. Even with her own savings from summer jobs, it would only be a drop in the bucket.

This couldn’t  be happening, Fucia thought. She was the first person in her family to go to college. She couldn’t drop out - not after her family had put so many expectations on her. If not for the money, then the shame. As if the pressure wasn’t high enough, her roommate was blaring the TV in their dorm. Something about a reclusive CEO putting out an apprenticeship sweepstakes or something.

“Ugh, can you please turn that down, Carolina? I'm kinda freaking out here!”

Her roommate slumped unbothered in her bed, glaring lazily at the television. “I turned up the volume so I could hear it over your incessant gumsmacking, Fucia. And are you not listening to the news? That candy factory in town is re-opening after all these years.”

Fucia groaned. “Are you not listening? I'm about to fail out of school!” She watched her roommate shovel a few more corn chips into her mouth without as much as a flinch. Finally, the silence prompted the girl to cast a brief gaze in Fucia’s direction, a look that reluctantly said “I’m listening.”

“I've been a great student up until this semester! I don’t know what's going wrong. I mean sure, its a lot of work. It’s not like I can quit my job or my side business, I mean that looks good on resumes. Maybe I’m stretching myself too thin.”

“Huh. I'm not sure thin is the word I’d use, girl.” her roommate said, gesturing down at Fucia’s midriff with her eyes.

Rude, Fucia thought, as one hand self-consciously clutched the love handles protruding slightly over the waistband of her track pants. So she’d been stress eating a bit since the start of the year, so what? It wasn’t even a freshman fifteen. Chewing the gum had been helping curb that habit lately, plus those martial arts classes she was taking as an elective had to be doing something.

She shot an angry glare at Carolina Perez, who for all her constant lounging and snacking had yet to gain or lose a single inch of her figure for it. Not once had Fucia seen her study or stress, and yet her grades remained as unbothered as her attitude. How could she just coast like that? Just the thought of it made Fucia’s blood boil over. It was too much.

“I’m going for a walk” she said, heading for the door. She grabbed her purse with the hand that wasn’t still tenderly clutching her soft sides, “and a coffee”.

Carolina’s hazed eyes shot open at the word. “Hey, do you think you could bring me a -“

“Oops, sorry, I can’t really hear you over the TV. Bye!” Fucia gave an artificial wave before quickly shutting and locking the door behind her. A muffled “Rude!” faded out quickly from behind the door as she walked away.

The walk across the quad proved just a little too warm for the velvet tracksuit she had left her dorm in, leaving the pink jacket tied securely around her waist by the time she walked into the air-conditioned campus coffee parlor. If the cool air relieved her overheated body, it did nothing for her mind, which was still awhirl with desperations and half-made plans to stay in school. Not of it would work. It wasn’t a plan she needed; it was a miracle. She needed a godsend.

The unamused look from the blue-haired barista across from her interrupted her frantic train of thought for a moment and prompted her to order. The barista’s sharp eyes remained unmoved from behind thick-rimmed eyeglasses, fixated on Fucia as she pondered the menu options in between loud smacks of gum.

“Hmmm...lets see...can I please get a medium caramel frappe....”

“Mmkay, anything else?” The hipster girl behind the register offered robotically.

Anything else? What else was there? Fucia scanned the expanse of the counter, quickly scooping up a pack of Rico’s Chicle. She was almost halfway through chewing her current pack and anticipated needing a refill soon.

“Just this and...”

Her gaze hovered over a brown, foil-wrapped package adjacent to the assorted gum flavors. Ornate spiral lettering spelled out a name on the front: Waldo. A Waldo’s chocolate bar; the gaze, though momentary, sent hunger pangs through Fucia’s stomach. The potential for stress relief and a complementary pairing with her beverage enticed her to pick it up. But should I? She thought to herself, recalling her roommates earlier degrading remarks.

Oh, screw you, Carolina.

She quickly picked up the bar before paying. Her desire for its sweet cocoa flavor was stronger than she anticipated. Before her drink had even come she had peeled back the wrapping and sunk her teeth into the sweet chocolatey slab, relishing the satiety of the first bite. In the throes of her bliss, she temporarily swept aside all her other cares and worries.

As she chewed the chocolate, a subtle vision materialized in her head - a future where she did this every day. Her velvet sweats might start to hug much more than simple love handles as time went on. People might stare as her overstretched pink pants trembled softly past them with thunderous steps, but she’d be much too immersed in her own delights to care. Only the blue haired girl behind the counter would know how small and slim of a thing the rotund young woman before her had started out as. Not once would she even feign shame as people glanced towards her pink, porcine figure. She could get as big as an elephant, or at least eat as much as one if she wanted to, who’d care? She could maybe even drown herself in its deliciousness...

Wait, what?

She bit down on something hard.

Reality? Yes, but also metal. Confused by the strange object and equally strange daydream it had pulled her from, she peeled back the foil of the chocolate bar.

There was something lodged behind it - gleaming, shiny and bronze in the midday light of the cafe’s large window. As she pulled it free of the wrapper and let the sun’s rays illuminate its colorful glint, the word “GANASTES” danced in fanciful lettering across its façade. She waved the small metal sheet around in front of her face.

“Oh shit,” the exclamation came from behind the counter. Fucia whipped her head around to see the cyan-haired girl smirk coyly and adjust her beanie, “you got a brazen ticket”. Several heads and gasps shot up around the coffee shop and in her direction at the mention of the word, as if it were a name of some infectious disease or long lost treasure.

Fucia gave the barista a confused look. “Did I...win something?”

“Only the chance of a lifetime.” The barista answered her with all the gusto of a tour guide who’d worked on the same ride for 20 years. “Have you not been watching the news, friend? Mr. Waldo just re-opened his candy factory. And you’re one of five lucky winners who gets a tour. Congratulations.”

That's right. On the TV. The reclusive CEO. The sweepstakes. The apprenticeship. As Fucia stared down at the shiny piece of metal in her hands, a plan began to form. She tossed the rest of the chocolate bar in the trash. She didn’t really want it anymore. She opened the fresh pack of gum and began to chew vigorously - not out of nervousness this time, but a determination as new and shiny as the ticket in her hands.

For it was a ticket she held indeed - and not just to a factory tour. It was the one and only ticket out of all her current problems. The barista was actually quite right. This was the opportunity of a lifetime. A chance to prove herself - to save her future, her family, everything. If she played her cards right, she could easily beat out these other four competitors for the prized apprenticeship. It was practically her own personal scholarship for the taking. All she had to do, she told herself, was reach out and seize it.

“Hey!” called the barista as Fucia walked off, too far already to hear, “you forgot your coffee!” She shook her beanied head and sighed. “All the same, aren’t they?”

⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸺-

Fucia lifted a hand to shield her eyes from the bright flashes of the news cameras. Of course her finding the brazen ticket was big news. Of course there would be a press conference. Reporters gathered around her like piranhas in a news feeding frenzy, microphones and notepads extended out at her expectantly.  All those cameras on her - she couldn’t help but feel nervous. She couldn’t help but have slipped not two but three pieces of gum into her mouth before walking up to the podium, chewing down the knots in her stomach as best she could.

“Miss Benitez, how does it feel to be only the second person to find one of Mr. Waldo’s highly coveted tickets?”

“It feels amazing!” She exclaimed with manufactured cheer, “I’m so excited to have this opportunity. I honestly feel like...like the luckiest girl in the world!”

Another flash from the cameras glinted white off the bright wide smile she faked for them. It was a momentary façade as well as a suitable way to hide the chewed-up wad she not-so-subtly chomped on while the reporters peppered her with their questions.

“How about the other four contestants? Given there are still three more potential winners out there, are you concerned with what they might bring to the table? Are you worried they might beat you to the prize?”

Fucia let out a nervous laugh. “Oh...uh...”

She hadn’t had time to anticipate a question like that. Yet the reporters looked on expectantly for an answer. They were reading her, trying to guess how that thought might make her react. And she was indeed reacting. She felt her heart start pounding. Knots turned to bigger knots in her stomach, and she could feel herself chewing away all the faster for it. They were testing her resolve, and she was about to falter.

 No! She thought to herself. Don’t let them see you nervous. Don’t let them see even a glimpse of weakness. You can’t. Otherwise it’ll be over before you even start this.

She quickly threw her head back in exaggerated laughter. “Ahahaha! Why would I be worried about them? I mean, I was top of my class in high school, broke records in track every year, won championships galore since I was ten, plus I’m currently in business school on a full scholarship and making top marks. I'm even on my way to a black belt in karate. I’d love to see any of the others come close to that. Why, if anyone should be worried, I’d say its them!”

The crowd oohed and aah’ed at her boastful attitude. It was working - they were buying it. Pride beamed up inside her, and she smiled all the brighter, perhaps even more genuinely. She chewed openly, as brazen as her ticket for all the paparazzi to see. “In fact, I think I’ll win so quickly and easily, I’ll probably still be chewing this same piece of gum when I do!”

The crowd cheered all the more at her bold vow. Only one reporter quietly asked his neighbor “She knows the tour isn’t for another week, right?”

“And Mrs. Benitez, you must be so proud and excited for your daughter at this moment.” another newscaster probed.

“Oh yes,” Fucia’s mother put an arm around her and smiled just as brightly for the crowd. “We raised our daughter to do well in everything and we are sure that is what she will do.”

Of course her parents had found out about her finding a brazen ticket. And of course that meant she would be expected to come back home with the big news, even though she would have preferred not to. She was not expecting, however, to have had the dozen or so reporters her parents had called crowded around their front door.

“And will you be accompanying her as the plus-one that all the recipients are allowed to bring?”

Her mother smiled assuredly and held her daughter. “Well of course, I’m her mother! Who else would she bring?”

Of course this was the first conversation she and her mother were having about it. She had been hoping to go alone - a plus one would be too much of a liability. Though the interview was over, the knot in her stomach only grew bigger as the two of them walked back inside.

When she had returned home with the big news, her family had been ecstatic. Here was their oldest child, not only coming home from a successful semester of college, but with a golden opportunity in hand to boot. It was all their expectations for her finally fulfilled. Her parents called called cousins, aunts and uncles from far and wide by telephone to boast about their daughter’s good success and merit.

What would they think of her if they knew the truth - that this ticket was the one thin string tethering the great wide balloon of their collective dreams for her to reality?

But they didn’t know, and they were so proud. Even her siblings looked at her with newfound respect, admiration - even a little envy.

She would just have to continue the façade: she was the ticket winner, the girl for whom nothing could go wrong. And as the week went on, as praise was piled onto praise, she began to believe it . The only remaining sign of her true internal apprehension was her incessant daily gum-chewing; but who cared? She was the gum-chewing ticket winner - and she was too big to fail.

⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻

The day of the tour grew closer, and Fucia’s mother revealed a grand announcement: they were going to host a send-off party for the two of them, with relatives from near and far invited. Now, it was the morning of and Fucia was working on her own plan to make the best possible impression on the factory owner, this Mr. Waldo. Of course she would make it a point to show off her educational background, but she needed something more, something bold. Some....act or gesture that would make her stand out from all the rest.

For now, she was focused on putting together the perfect outfit. She settled on a

black pencil skirt and a low-neck cotton top, paired with her favorite red blazer. It was professional enough to show she meant business but also striking enough to stand out from the crowd - or at least she hoped so.

As she dressed in her old room, she looked around at the pictures that covered the walls - framed milestones of her life. Snapshots of soccer trophies, track medals, scholastic championships and decathlons, awards and certificates all adorned the pepto-pink painted drywall. She noticed now in this moment of reflection, how few there were pictures of friends. Sure, she’d been popular, but she really had never been close to any of her classmates. Other students were competition, or at best, a distraction. They either held her back or just got in the way of her being the best. And whenever she could, she had. to be. the best.

Listen to yourself. To what you’re saying.

A voice crept in from the back of her mind; it was hers, although seldom did she let it speak. It was barely a whisper of a thing, but it struck her to the very heart.

Why are you like this?

She examined herself in the body-length mirror, adjusting her small gold hoop earrings and admiring how the belted blazer complemented her figure.

Like what? Driven? Focused on success? That wasn’t a bad thing. She'd fought tooth and nail to get where she was. And not just for her. For her family. The family that had come from nothing. The family that had sacrificed so much to lift her up - that had put so much faith in her. So many expectations to do well, just like her mother had told the reporters. And it wasn't just their dream. All her life, she’d dreamt of becoming successful enough to repay them for all of their sacrifice.

Was that why she was always so competitive, so eager to get ahead of everyone?

To prove herself?

Is that why you always push everyone away? 

Now was not the time to probe further into that question. There was a room full of guests and relatives downstairs waiting. She brushed off her jacket one last time and smiled a big smile. They were waiting to see the ticket winner, after all. She felt good, she told herself. She hadn’t even chewed a piece of chiclé all day. Besides, parties were fun - if she could navigate the guests properly.

“Fucia, todos esperan abajo”, her mother stuck herself halfway into the room. “They all want to see -“

She paused and looked her daughter up and down. “Que haces aqui?”

“Im getting ready...”

“Not dressed like that you’re not.”

“Mamá, I’m...”

“No, no no no. That skirt is much too short! You are not going out, representing us like that! I already picked out something for you in my room. Go, go change. And then meet us downstairs. They’ve been waiting too long already.” Her mother's head disappeared behind the door, like a phantom, though her orders still lingered heavily in the air. Fucia knew protesting any further would get her nowhere. With a sigh, she went to her mother's room to see what was laid out.

“Oh, no.”

There on the bed lay a sickeningly vibrant blue collared dress. Frilled edges, poofy sleeves, a line of silver buttons running down the chest - it was a relic from three decades past, maybe more. Perhaps the only redeeming qualities were the embroidered floral patterns along the neckline.

“You’ve got to be joking.”

A pair of stylish white gloves lay next to the hideous dress. It was terrible: Her mom was trying to dress her like an abuela.

It was even worse once she tried it on. The skirt was knee length and clearly made for a larger woman, so it hung down in an “A” from her shoulders like a circus tent.

No, this simply would not do. Longingly she eyed her rejected blazer, the belt of which had snatched her waist so nicely. She got an idea. “Fine, you want me to wear the dress?” She said as she pulled the belt from the blazer and wrapped it around the blue bedsheet that draped her now. She pulled the buckle tight, and locked it in place. Like magic, the ample fabric contoured to her form. It was properly fitted and uniform on top, with the line of silver beads stopping right at her midriff where the band of red outlined an hourglass form for her so nicely. Then it flared below her waist, the gathered material forming well- proportioned pleats at her knees. With the tights and heels she wore already, it looked professional, if not a little vintage. The white gloves actually complemented the ensemble nicely. It wasn’t ideal, but she could work with this.

Downstairs she saw her mother was already surrounded by people, soaking up the attention like a dry sponge. Nevertheless she was soon bombarded by kin and family acquaintance alike, each bringing their own questions and observations about her.

How are you doing in school?

(Great.)

Do you have a boyfriend?

(No.) As if she had any time for dating in her life.

Are you nervous for today?

(No, of course not). Not yet, anyway.

We cant believe you won! Our son was trying so hard to find one, we thought he got close one time. Your parents must be so proud of you.

(Me neither and Yes, they are)

Have you gained weight since we last saw you? (Just smile, don’t even dignify that with an answer).

Normally the nagging and heckling bothered her a lot more, but there was something much larger looming in her mind. The hour of fate - or destiny -whatever one might call it - was growing nearer and nearer. She was starting to feel the weight of it. Still, she refrained from reaching for the pack of spearmint in her purse.

Finally her mother came over to her, arms open wide. "Mira? That looks much better!” She exclaimed, gesturing with her eyes at the antiquated ensemble she had put her daughter in.

Some of her cousins giggled to each other in the background.

Her mother ignored what Fucia could not and excitedly motioned her daughter towards the vacant area by the door. “Come, its almost time to go.”

Fucia reluctantly began to follow, but the knots in her stomach twisted tightly. The weight of everything felt so heavy now. She couldn’t take another step. “Come, mija," her mother said. The order hit her ears, as it had a thousand times before. Like clockwork she moved to obey, as she had a thousand times after. But this time, something was caught in the cogs. The gears wouldn’t turn. The obedient daughter wouldn’t budge. In the struggle, a single phrase took advantage, springing from its cage, fluttering up her throat and out of her mouth before she could even think to catch it.

“Ma, no.”

Her mother froze. The word was like a gunshot in the empty lobby. “What do you mean, ‘no’”?

That one word had cracked the barrel in her head. Now it had burst and everything was spilling out at once.

“No, I’m not following after you, because no...you’re not going with me!” Her mother immediately frowned.

“After all I did, put this party together just for you, you don’t think you can-“

“You put this party together for you, Ma! I don’t know half these people. I never asked for it. I never asked you to come with me. You gathered all these people here  yourself. You invited yourself."

“Fucia,” Her mother warned.

“No, this is my moment. I’m the one with the ticket. I’m the one that has to win this thing! God, the only reason I’m doing this is so that with the money I can support you! And dad! And everyone else in this house! So I’m going, and you’re staying here because I am going there to win, and you’re just...you’re just going to get in the way!”

She expected her mother to shout. To scream maybe. And although her mother looked as if that last remark had slapped her across the face, her expression was cool and collected. It was only her eyes that went cold. “Fine” was all she said in response. She turned her back and picked up an empty plate that had been left by one of the partygoers.

“If that's what you want, I won’t go with you. But you aren’t going by yourself. You take your Tia Sepha with you.”

“Tia Josepha? But, shes like a hundred years old, Ma!”

Her mother shot her a glare that told her there was no more negotiating. “You take your tia with you or you don’t go at all.” The verdict was final.

Fucia groaned in frustration. If her mother was a liability, her Tia Sepha, who could barely walk, would be twice that. But she was no longer in a position to argue. And she was out of time.

Tia Sepha was sitting in the corner of the living room by herself, draped in a blanket. Fucia mustered her kindest, clearest voice and placed a hand on her great aunt’s shoulder. “Tia Sepha, its me, Fucia.”

Her aunt looked at her for a moment then smiled warmly. “Oh, hi, mija. Lovely party.”

“Gracias. Ahora, me voy a la fábrica de los dulces. Quiere ir usted conmigo?”

 Her tia’s eyes opened wide. “Los dulces de Señor Waldo?”

“Si."

At this her aunt nodded, rather excitedly, and Fucia helped her with her walker as they started for the door. “Oye mija...pero, no viene tu mama?” she asked. She looked back at the waving relatives bidding them goodbye and good luck. Her mother was nowhere to be seen.

 “No, tia. Shes not coming.”

She helped her great aunt out the door to the car, threw the old woman's walker in the back, and closed the trunk.

She took a few minutes just standing there, thinking of everything and yet at the same time not being able to think at all.

“Ugh.”

She looked down at her handbag, opened the flap, and pulled out the pack of spearmint gum that was waiting for her inside. She shoved two sticks into her mouth, letting the cool rush of menthol wash over her as she frantically chewed her worries and apprehensions away.

As she got into the driver seat, her tia looked over at her and smiled. “You look so pretty, mija. Such a lovely dress."

"Thank you, tia."

"Pero... sabes que estas masticando como una vaquita, no?”

Fucia let out a sigh, “Yes, I know. Lets go.”

And with that, the two women headed off, where factory and fate alike awaited their imminent arrival.

⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻—-

There was a crowd already gathered when they pulled up to the factory gates. News folk and eager spectators crowded either side of the grand carpeted path that stretched from the car, past the gnarled, wrought -iron gate, and finally all the way into the massive stucco building beyond.

As they exited the car, Fucia noted the great smokestacks which billowed out from either side of the building like ancient sacrificial pyres. It sat like a temperamental volcano in the distance, one that threatened to blow everything to smithereens given the right excuse.

Once she had fake-smiled her way past the cameras and cheering crowds, all the while scooting her hobbling aunt along beside her, she finally got the opportunity to size up the other contestants already waiting at the gate. She honestly hadn’t heard or seen much about them before this time - too focused on her own preparations and worries.

She wedged herself between the first two. To her left stood a young woman about her age - although she was maybe two or three times her size. She reminded Fucia keenly of the bizarre, bloated daydream she’d had of herself that week or so earlier.

The girl clasped her ticket tightly in her hands , which were crossed and resting on her wide, soft middle. In her candy-striped dress, she looked as plump and sweet as a three-layer strawberry-vanilla cake, made up with cherry red lipstick and sparkling scarlet eyeshadow. She gave Fucia a wide, doe-eyed glance before quickly reverting an expectant gaze back towards the gate ahead and beyond.

On her right another young woman in designer sunglasses held her ticket with gilded claws in one hand, while the other hung tightly upon the arm of a much older, equally well-dressed man. She contorted her botoxed lips into a frown as Fucia stepped next to them. Fresa , Fucia thought accusingly as she shot back an equally unpleasant stare. The woman simply flipped her bleached-blonde hair with a heavily- jeweled hand and turned her head.

A skunky, pungent odor reached Fucia’s nostrils as she gazed further down the line, where she found it belonged to a disheveled man in a carpet hoodie who fiddled aimlessly with is ticket as a cigarette protruded out of his mouth amongst wispy , scattered face hairs. Looks like I could have worse addictions, she thought with a smack of her gum.

Past the stoner, at the opposite end stood a small, lanky figure dressed in oversized rags and a faded baseball cap. The stranger was covered from head to toe - despite the border town’s sweltering summer heat. Fucia could only make out two, icy blue eyes behind a mop of blond windswept hair.

Suddenly the crowd behind them began to stir. In the distance, the building doors opened. Someone was coming out from behind it, at first just a purple speck in the distance.

Everyone stood in silent shock as the figure lurched forward slowly, leaning unsteadily on his cane. He was bent over, his face obscured by a rather large black top hat. This is taking forever, Fucia thought to herself. Each wobbly step seemed to threaten a sudden fall headfirst into the hard concrete below. How was he supposed to give a tour like this? It was only a matter of time before he -

Just then he did lose his footing, stumbling clumsily and falling headlong, straight into a - a full, flawless somersault?

Wait, Fucia thought, did he just...pretend to walk with a limp the whole way up here? What the hell?

The top hatted man now stood fully erect. He stretched out his gloved hands theatrically. The crowd behind Fucia gave a cheer, as did the other ticket winners. Fucia rolled her eyes before donning her fake-smile once more and joining in on the clapping. The man took off his hat, letting his well-greased mop of black hair fall forward. He gave a little bow and a whimsical wave of his hat in hand as he tucked the cane behind his back with the other. In a sing-song voice, he addressed the ticket winners and the crowd.

“Weclome y bienvenidos, one and all, to my marvelous little factory. I am Mr. Waldo, your most gracious host...and tentative benefactor.”

He have a little twirl to his waxed mustache and a tug on his tapered goatee.

“If you are one of the five standing before the gate, that means you found one of my brazen tickets...hopefully. Congratulations! You’re about to be amazed, astounded, maybe even flabbergasted! But beware, for not all is as it seems...but as long as you remember-”

God, this guy loved to hear himself talk. His eccentric orating was starting to give her a headache. She had heard Waldo was a little strange, but nothing quite like this.

“Now now, with no further time to waste, come in, and please, present your tickets.”

He swung open the gate and held out a poised hand, wiggling his fingers in a beckoning motion while flashing a wide, almost sinister grin.

The fat girl scurried up to him first, proudly presenting her ticket to the candyman.

“Muchisimas gracias, señorita”, he cooed , “and your name?”

Her plump face beemed. She spoke too fast, Fucia thought. “Thankyousir, itsamazingtomeetyousir, I love your candysomuch! Mynameis Alejandra. Alejandra Garcia. Ohandthisismybestfriend, hehe! Cynthia.”

“Always a pleasure to meet a fan,” he said, and motioned her along, “next?

This is it, Fucia thought. She smiled her best fake smile, fixed her hair as best she could, guided her tia alongside her with one hand, and presented the other assertively to Mr. Waldo.

“A pleasure to meet you, Señor Waldo,” she began, “My name is Fucia Benitez, I’m a local bussiness student and a - “

He grasped her hand. “Ah yes, Miss Benitez. I remember you from the news.“ Her tone skipped in surprise. If only for a moment, her bold exterior faltered.

“Y-you do?” she asked.

He peered into her - past her failing artificial demeanor, past her nervousness - and into her very being. His eyes did not resemble those of a man, she thought, but a coyote: Intelligent. Crafty. Unpredictable. And most assuredly dangerous.

“Well of course. You made quite a bold vow on camera. Pray tell, are you still chewing that same piece of gum as we speak?”

“Oh! Ha, well uh, no, not exactly...”

“And the lady accompanying you, as young and lovely as she is, is not your mother, if I’m not mistaken?”

“N-no sir, this is my great tia Sepha. She’s always wanted to meet you.”

He averted his soul-piercing gaze and his gloved hand slipped from her own, and extended toward her aunt’s.

“Un gusto, señora” Her aunt stared wide eyed as he smiled kindly before letting her go and waving them along. “Next.”

Fucia began to walk away with her tia.

“Ah, Miss Benitez -“ Waldo called behind her, stopping her in her tracks, “one more thing.”

She spun around quickly, “yes, Mr. Waldo?”

He still faced away from her, albeit for two fingers extended outward behind him. “Your ticket, please?”

“Oh, right. Sorry...” She fumbled in her purse for a moment before pulling it out and handing it over. He snatched it promptly between the two fingers without even so much as a glance towards her.

“Thank you.”

Fucia walked off to join her tia, who waited by Alejandra and her friend. She swore under her breath, unsure of what to make of the introduction that had just transpired. He seemed impressed by her boldness on TV, but quite unimpressed on her ability to follow through. And she had forgotten the ticket. Stupid! She was frustrated, but could do nothing more about it but stand and watch the other contestants walk through.

The fresa and her husband were next. She placed her ticket gingerly in his hand as Waldo asked her name. “Veronica. Veronica Fue- well, actully, its Saltillo now, right my love?” The old man smiled and shook Waldo’s hand in turn.

The man in the carpet hoodie walked up next. “Hey, bro, good to meet you” he went in for a side hug catching the tycoon off guard. Waldo seized up, trying his best to remain cordial despite the obvious discomfort. “Your name, sir?”

“Huh? Oh, Miguel, but everyone just calls me Mikey, man. I heard there was like, some snacks or something here if I turn in this ticket?”

“...Something like that, I assure you,” replied Waldo, unamused, but polite. “This way.”

 “Hey, thanks, hombre.” Mikey sauntered off in a daze.

Finally, the pile of animated rags stepped up, quiet and sly as a mouse. “And your name, my young friend?”

“Oh. Uh. Charli - Char -lene.” The mysterious female stranger stuttered. “Charlene Parcél. Its..French. But I was born here, which is why I don’t have an accent. Plus, I’m new in town anyway....” Waldo cocked a pointed eyebrow, and waved her along with the others.

 “Very well then,” he said , “the five of you follow me. So much time and so little to - no, wait - switch that, reverse it -ay, que vale - Vamos!” And waved to the crowd before doing a full cartwheel away.

This guy is certifiable, Fucia thought with increasing anxiety as they approached the factory’s huge metal doors.

“Ohmygod. Can you believe we are actually here, girl?” Alejandra gushed to her on the left. “ I just LOVE Waldo candy, since I was a kid! Even if I don’t win, I betcha there's stuff in there nobody’s ever even TASTED before! I can’t wait to try it all!”

Fucia smiled and nodded. Alejandra was clearly easily distractible and didn’t pose too much of a rival. Businesses weren’t typically run by fans, anyway. Her eyes turned to Veronica. Was there an imminent, competent threat hiding behind those Versace sunglasses? Or perhaps she was a puppet for her wealthy husband?

She quickened her pace to catch up to the two of them. “I don’t suppose you have any experience in business, do you Mrs. Saltillo?” she probed, somewhat coyly.

Veronica smiled and laughed, albeit condescendingly, “Oh, well I’ve dated quite a few CEOs if that counts. But that was before meeting my much handsomer, not to mention wealthier, husband here. We were just talking about how we might just buy this old run-down place, win or not, right mi amor?” She threw her head back as the two of them laughed and walked on.

They crossed through the open door to a steel-lined lobby. The factory’s great metal jaws slammed behind them with a loud and uneasy clang. No turning back now, Fucia thought. She was in this. But what other choice did she have? Her focus was set. She had to win, no matter the cost.

“Now before we begin,” Mr. Waldo began in his already-getting-old sing-song voice, “a few minor details of business,” he produced several clipboards and pens, “this is just standard precautions, I assure you: It’s not as if I’m making you sign yourself away as company property or something like that!”

Weird that he would even mention that, Fucia thought, but it didn’t matter. She signed for her tia, herself, and handed them back. With one swift motion, he tucked them all into an inner pocket and turned the knob on the door before them.

“Señoras y señores, without further recourse, may I present...paradise.”

Fucia drew in an involuntary breath. She had prepared a thousand visions of what awaited behind that door, and none of them had prepared her for the fantastical scene that lay before her now.

A lush and verdant canopy, winding paths adorned with vibrant flowers of every conceivable color, bubbling fountains and springs equally as glittery and comely to the eye - and all of it, she realized as she stepped into the large arboretum with the others, was candy. As light trickled in from the beautifully stained-glass ceiling, bathing everything in a kaleidoscope of colorful hues, she forgot for a moment her present cares. She found herself seized by a wave of childlike wonder - each sight was new and exciting, inviting exploration and delight. There were few times she could remember feeling such levity, no - not since she was very young.

“Mind your step down the alegria staircase, please.” Waldo cautioned as he motioned them off the platform overlooking the fantastical landscape.

Fucia looked toward her aunt, who bore an enamored and awestruck gaze similar to her own. In a rare moment of harmony, niece and aunt smiled at each other with giddy excitement.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” She heard Waldo tell the group. “Please, enjoy the ‘fruits’ of my labor.”

Needing no further encouragement, the entire group scattered among the confectionary marvels. Alejandra and her bestie jumped up and down on a giant block of bandera de coco. Veronica’s husband snapped off a paddle from a nopal to reveal it was made of fondant and chocolate filling. He offered it to his much younger wife, who just rolled her eyes and waved it away in disgust. Mikey went off to take a snooze under the shade of a large cacao tree. Fucia helped her aunt over to the bushes of honeysuckle, sweet rose, ginger, and chocolate mint that grew along the carbonated water spring.

Gingerly, the old woman pulled off a sprig and held it close to her nose, breathing in deeply the comforting nostalgic aroma.

Then Fucia saw it - shrouded by a small shrubbery of cotton candy bushes, yet still visible enough for her to make out its colorful contours- a rainbow slide of candy-coated chocolates. As she approached, she realized it poured down the into a wider pool at the bottom of the slope, like a ball-pit at a playground. She swiveled her head around. When she was sure no one was watching, she rushed toward it, as if her feet were possessed by the ghost of her childhood days.

With a leap, a crash, and a yipe, she slid on her bottom down the hill, holding down her spacious dress to keep the skirt from flying up. Candies scattered around her until she tumbled forward into the pool of them at the bottom, coming to a grinding, clattering halt amongst the tiny chocolate pebbles, feet up in the air and hair strewn across her face. She couldn’t help but stare up at the stained glass twilight above her, hands clasped over her belted waist, and laugh. She laughed fully, freely. When was the last time she had allowed herself to have so much fun? To just let go? Her anxiety melted away like chocolate in a hot car as she lay there alone in the pit. She breathed a relaxed sigh that was years forthcoming. It felt good - it felt right. At length she sat herself up, kneeling amidst the pool of tiny candies.

She picked one up, studying it in her carefully manicured fingers. Its vibrant color was inviting - tempting even. At last, she lost all resistance and popped it into her mouth. She knew right away it was Waldo chocolate; the sweet and blissful sensation danced like fire upon her tongue. With increasing enthusiasm, she picked up another, and then another, savoring the flavor of each one, though they all tasted the same (it would have been nice, she thought, if there was some variety, but no matter). There was no one around to stop her, to judge her. No one to tell her no. And it felt amazing.

“Hey, quit that!”

She had scooped up a handful and was about to pour them into her open jaw when a voice from behind stopped her cold. Instead, the candies spilled through her fingers and clattered back into the pile. Oh no, had Waldo caught her acting like an absolute fool in his candy pit?

She whirled around in shock. It was not Waldo - only the ragdoll, Charlene, standing there slouched with her hands cooly set in her pockets.

“Um, excuse me?” Fucia replied, making it clear she was annoyed. Who did this ragamuffin think she was?

“Look, just trust me. This thing will go a whole lot better for you if you just...if you just don’t touch anything. Okay?”

Who was this, lecturing her on how to win? Did she think she had a leg up or

something?

“I think I know what I’m doing, thanks.” To prove her point, she threw a few more candies in her mouth and swallowed. Charlene’s cold blue eyes just closed and she wagged her head underneath her dusty stained cap.

“How long were you watching me, anyway?” Fucia asked, standing up and brushing off her dress. She should never have let her guard down in the first place. If it was Waldo who had seen her, she could have kissed the apprenticeship goodbye for sure.

“Long enough to see you get carried away. Look, I’m just trying to help...”

Fucia felt her expression sour. She didn’t need this bundled-up wierdo’s condescending advice. Anger boiled in her belly, and ran hot behind her ears. She stormed past the strange girl, clipping her shoulder as she did. “Well I don’t need your help, so just...stay away from me, freak!"

“Hey, wait, look, there’s no need to be rude...“ Charlene called out behind her, but she was already out of earshot. Her moment of peace was gone. The pressure and determination of the game at hand returned. She plodded back to her aunt and the rest of the group, who had reconvened further down the amaranth-cobbled path.

She saw the that the underbrush of sweets had opened up into a great pond further down. More accurately, it was a lake, but it shimmered with a deep rich brown that she had never seen in a lake before. She was afraid it was sewage at first, but as the sweet smell of anis and cinnamon floated toward her nose, she knew different. It was chocolate - bubbling, warm, chocolate, as spiced and aromatic as a Christmas Eve cup of champurrado.

And there, in a grove of cacao trees by its lapping shore gathered the group, led by Waldo. He was....singing. Oh god, the man was actually singing some impromptu verse about the wonders of his factory, waving his arms dramatically to the notes of his voice. It was also purely a capella.

Just when I thought winning this guy over couldn’t be any harder, Fucia thought with a groan.

 She rejoined the group just in time to clap and smile artificially with everyone else as he finally finished. Charlene had also rejoined them, although at the opposite end. Fucia turned away from her piercing eyes. They were icicles; like Waldo’s, they cut into her very soul - judging her every move, every merit - dissecting her character down to its very core. Fucia couldn't stand it.

“Mi amor, look, coming over across the lake! Its looks like a funny little duende, doesn’t it?” Veronica waved a bejeweled hand halfheartedly in the indicated direction.

“Why, yes, I see it too. What, or who is that, Mr. Waldo?”

Waldo smiled, “Ah, you are half right, you see. And just in time for the next segment of our tour. As you know, I haven’t hired anyone in years, and I simply couldn’t have done all this by myself. It was on one of my many voyages to the Yucatan, the ancient birthplace of chocolate, searching for the best cacao trees to propagate here in my factory, that I stumbled upon a long-forgotten city relegated to only legend. There lived the magical folk which guarded the forest - only half as tall as I, but with hearts twice as big, and pointed ears to match! Quite the athletes they are - they do triple the work of a man, and in half the time! Please treat them with utmost respect when you meet them. Which should be any second now!”

The group strained their eyes as a giant rowboat filled with small figures surged closer and closer to shore.

“Is there a reason they are blue, Mr. Waldo?” Alejandra asked.

Waldo laughed. “Blue? Well, they are traditionally fond of body paint. But they usually prefer orange, not bl-“

Shoomp!

Something whizzed past Waldo’s head and buried itself in the side of the nearby tree. It was a long, wooden dart.

“Careful there!” Waldo shouted playfully across the water, “that one nearly hit m -“

Another dart whizzed across the water, flying into the candy-maker’s top hat and pinning it to the tree next to the first.

“Que diablos!” He swore. “What the blazes has gotten into them?”

Suddenly, a man the size of a small child crashed out of the bushes close to them, clad in only a breechcloth. His eyes, larger than a human’s, were filled with fear. His pointed ears twitched as he shouted frantically at Waldo in an unintelligible tongue.

Behind the halfling, a clawed, blue hand shot out from the bushes, grabbing the poor miniature fellow by the back of his breechcloth. He hadn’t been running towards Waldo - he was running away. From something terrifying. The clawed creature leapt from the bushes and pinned its prey to the ground.

The creature was small, like the halfling man, but monstrous. Its larger, bat-like ears were pulled back, fangs bared as it subdued the little man who struggled fruitlessly to break free underneath it. And, most contrastingly, it's skin was blue.

The tour group gasped and panicked. Eyes darted towards Waldo, whose cool, calculated complexion was all but gone. “N-now everyone, p-please remain calm...I-I assure you, all is under control!” His eyes told the true story, irregularly wide with confusion and fear: This was not under his control. This was not part of the tour.

The halfing man screamed in pain as the fanged, blue, goblin-like creature sunk its teeth into his shoulder. Fucia watched in shock and terror as a wave of blue spread from the bite wound across the little mans body. His muscles clenched, his eyes bulged and burned with a glowing red fire. Teeth grew into fangs. His brow thickened and his pointed ears flayed out. He snarled with feral savagery.

To the crowds horror, the halfling had been transformed into another of the same creature. The two blue vampiric imps now edged their way closer and closer to the crowd.

“My...my halfling workers!” Waldo exclaimed, “What...what has been done to them?”

A second slurry of blow-darts whizzed past the tour group from the fast approaching ship behind them. Veronica screamed, pushing her husband aside and heading towards the trail that led back to the exit. Two more snarling blue homunculi stepped onto the path, blocking her way. She got two steps before they pounced upon her as well. She screamed.

“Oh, shit,” Fucia heard Charlene exclaim.

To their backs , the boat scraped onto the rock-candy shore. A dozen or so azure gremlins came pouring out - some held weapons like blowguns, others simply brandished claws and teeth.

Waldo cowered away from them them, a strand of the slick-oiled hair on his hatless head falling in front of his face. “Now, look here, my good halflings,” he began, “I’m not quite sure what the meaning of this is, but if you could ju -“

Four or five of them covered him in a flash. Fucia had never heard a grown man scream quite like that. Her tia quivered next to her, and so she did her best to hold the old woman close as the rest of the goblins closed in.

“Cynthia...help!” Squealed Alejandra. Fucia turned to see the poor round girl had wandered by the bank of the lake in an effort to get away. But not in time. With a sneer, one of the gremlins gave her a shove backward.

“Aaah - Aaaaaaaaeeeeee!” The girl cried, waving her arms frantically to regain her balance. But it was no use. The momentum of her body was too great and she went flying headfirst into the lake of champurrado below. Her pudgy legs and shoes kicked and thrashed above her before disappearing with a great and thunderous splash.

“Alex! Oh god, somebody help her, she can’t swim!” Her friend exclaimed. Fucia searched as best she could for any trace of the peppermint-striped young woman under the chocolate’s warm bubbling surface. At length she broke it, sputtering and crying for breath, covered in the brown, sugary cinnamon water. She was getting dragged further and further outward, Fucia noticed, towards a large steel pipe that shot up to the ceiling from the lake...

“Damn it all,” from behind her, Fucia heard Charlene mutter. Without an uncanny burst of strength and agility the strange woman catapulted herself over Fucia’s shoulders, cartwheeling past the snarling imps and diving headfirst into the chocolate lake, rags and all. She cast off her sweater and cap as she swam, desperate to reach the flailing plump damsel before the pipe claimed her.

A guttural growl brought Fucia’s attention back to the close and personal. Three armed and slobbering blue goblins edged towards her quivering aunt. Fucia met the closest one with a swift pointed-toe kick to the jaw. “Tia, get behind me,” she ordered. Waving her purse around she managed to send the second gremlin flying with a well-timed swing of it. She tore a white glove from one hand with her teeth as the final imp charged, claws slashing. One swipe sliced against her midriff, scraping the metal buckle of her wide leather belt - but not before she sent a concentrated knee-and-fist combo strike to its throat and chest. It fell to the ground before scampering off to a short retreat with its companions. It looked like all those martial arts lessons had paid off, after all - love handles be damned.

To her left, she saw Mr. Saltillo grappling with one of the creatures behind a pair of brass knuckles. She kicked it free for him, allowing enough time for him to deliver a serious punch. He looked up and gave a wink of gratitude, when suddenly his eyes went wide. A host of the creatures grabbed him by his pristinely polished duranguense boots and dragged him off, along with the slumped bodies of Waldo and Veronica.

Fucia heard a splash behind her. Charlene struggled to haul the hefty Alejandra up to shore. “She fainted, but she's ok,” Charlene huffed and puffed. Her eyes looked up at Fucias once more with that frozen icy stare.

“What?”

Charlene had shed her oversized sweater and hat, revealing a sleek waterproof tracksuit underneath. Her hair was still a mess of blonde, although her bangs were tightly cropped across her forehead. And as the chocolate dripped off her skin, so did her flesh-colored foundation, revealing a much more bizarre hue underneath. She was blue. Her skin was as pale and as icy blue as her soul-piercing irises. Fucia shrieked, “Y-you’re one of them!”

Charlene rolled her eyes, before delivering a spinning roundhouse kick to the wave of blue demons that approached. “If I was, would I have done that?”

Fucia delivered her own swift kick to one that got too close. “Where’d you learn to fight like that?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” The pale blue girl backflipped away from the upcoming torrent of blow-darts, landing perfectly beside Fucia. “Ah shit. I really didn’t want to have to call for backup.”

The goblins closed in on them from all angles. In the confusion, Fucia realized everyone had been dragged off except her, Charlene, and Tia Sepha.

“Charlene...what...who are you?”

“Oh. Well for starters, my name’s not actually Charlene, sorry. Violet Beauregarde, at your service. And I’m gonna get you out of here.”

[seapiatech]

​ Become a part of our community, contribute your knowledge, and unlock your earning potential. Together, let's explore the frontiers of human innovation and share the wonders of the world we live in!See you at Seapia.tech - where knowledge meets opportunity!

[adelinechadwell]

Adeline was sure she looked as miserable as she felt, her head resting on the table as they waited for their food to be served. The sunglasses were the only thing saving her from looking like a complete wreck, as well as the occasional smiles she shot Benitez so he knew she actually wanted to be there with him despite her hangover. “I hope you don’t plan on grilling me about my life, because I honestly don’t know what to tell you. All I can think about is this damn food that’s coming... seriously, it better be as good as you say it is.” @jorgebenitez​

[victorluvsalice]

So! Start of a new Sim Year, with the first Sunday of Spring, and it’s Day One with our new Chill Save family -- one Smiler Always! I explained their deal last week, but in short -- this is a Sim-ification of The Smiler roller coaster from Alton Park, which I got mildly obsessed with at the end of last year, and now I kind of ship Victor and Alice with ‘em. Because my brain, people.

Of course, in order to ship them with Victor and Alice, I have to get them established in my Chill Save, and that’s what we’re doing now! Let me bring you up to speed on Smiler’s deal:

1. They’re a vampire -- my first straight from CAS, I believe! I felt that this was a good fit because vampires get various brain-bending and emotion-bending powers, and given that The Smiler’s themeing is brainwashing people to be happy and obedient all the time. . .they’re not quite to that point yet, but they’re working on it!

2. They started with the Friend of the World aspiration (because of course they want to be friends with everybody), which gave them the Gregarious trait. I also made them Erratic (The Smiler’s screens tend to be a bit purposefully glitchy, and characterizing them as something of a gremlin seems popular on tumblr), Cheerful (because of COURSE -- Smile Always!), and a Music Lover (the 2013 Fireworks Show at Alton Towers really seems to suggest The Smiler likes pop remixes). Wonderful Whims added on the Innocent and Jester personality archetypes, meaning they’re very positive, silly, and fun, but can come off as too naive or not taking anything seriously. Again, really good traits for a roller coaster whose goal in life is to make everyone happy forever!

3. For preferences, they Like Yellow, Purple, Pop Music, Strange Tunes, Robotics, Dancing, Media Production, and Fitness (which was their first like that popped up in-game, thanks to feeling energized from some Dark Mediation). They Dislike Gray and Lullabies Radio. I couldn’t think of an activity they’d for-sure dislike, so I’m leaving that up to the game.

4. They have fairly wide attractiveness preferences, but I set them so they should at least find Victor and Alice attractive (like having black hair and stick-thin among their likes). These may need to be tweaked later, to increase romance chances!

5. This isn’t official (yet), but Smiler’s non-binary -- masculine frame as that’s how I originally pictured them, but they/them pronouns. (Hey, apparently the roller coaster is the color of the non-binary flag, sooo. . .)

6. And they’re currently living in one of the Britechester starter homes, as my initial plan for them is to build up their vampire power and attend Foxbury Institute to study a Psychology degree, and actually do some other stuff with organizations and the like (I’m thinking the Spirit Squad if nothing else!).

So yeah, that’s their deal -- non-binary overly-cheerful vampire with loud fashion and decor sense. As you might guess from their outfits and the way they’ve decorated their house. XD Most of this is from EA, but Smiler’s dark form, as seen in the seventh picture onward, is wearing a yellow take on Beetlejuice’s outfit from the @the-crypt-o-club‘s “Creepy Creations” Simblrween 2020 fan stuff pack, while the spiral eyes are a special face paint from Cryptiam’s Surreal Eyes Pack on Nexus Mods! Both felt RIGHT, you know? :p

ANYWAY! On to Smiler’s first day of existence, which was reasonably exciting. After getting the house to their liking, taking “Cast Hallucination” and “Occult Student” for their staring vampire powers, and braving the sun to catch some butterflies, Smiler got themselves a nice colorful umbrella and set out to make friends! Because for some reason the Welcome Wagon never showed up, thanks game! Their first attempt at friendship was with passing jogger Lillie Benitez, but things didn’t go very well -- mainly because she’s a Gloomy Sim who hates Fitness and isn’t a Music Lover, meaning she did not vibe with Smiler’s attempts at conversation. So instead they decided to use her for power practice and had her hallucinate a different friend to talk to while they watched a movie. Yay?

[maudlin-st]

i’m losing my mind over this

(x)

[richincolor]

Reimagining the Classics

As I typed the title, my mind jumped to several questions. Whose classics? Also – who has been determining which books are classics? Why do classics stay in the canon and why are they taught in schools for so very, very long? The questions around which works are considered classics are many, but for this post, I want to look at how contemporary authors are retelling these stories with a fresh perspective.

Feiwel & Friends is creating a series of such retellings called Remixed Classics which you can read more about at Publisher’s Weekly. Many books considered classics in U.S. schools are told from a white point of view and erase or ignore other possible narratives in their pages. This collection is an opportunity to shake that up and allow for a wide variety of perspectives. I was lucky enough to read an ARC of Bethany C. Morrow’s So Many Beginnings: A Little Woman Remix. I’ll review it in August nearer publication, but just know that it was incredibly satisfying and made me want to put it in the hands of everyone around me. In elementary school, I read a young people’s adaptation of Little Women and then read the complete novel many, many times over the years. I had unquestioning love for the original until I was older and started to wonder about some of the things I was reading and noticing missing voices–especially regarding enslavement during the Civil War that’s happening during the novel. This new remix addresses some of those concerns and retains all of the things I loved about the original such as the family love that knows no bounds. Morrow’s book will be the second in the series. The  first volume is A Clash of Steel: A Treasure Island Remix by C.B. Lee which shares the same publication date–September 7, 2021. These two will be followed by Travelers Along the Way: A Robin Hood Remix by Aminah Mae Safi in March of 2022 and at least on more is scheduled to follow.

Aside from this specific series, there are many other adaptations or retellings and books simply inspired by classics out there that we’ve enjoyed. Here are some we’d recommend.

Pride by Ibi Zoboi ~ Pride and Prejudice Balzer & Bray[K. Imani’s Review]

Zuri Benitez has pride. Brooklyn pride, family pride, and pride in her Afro-Latino roots. But pride might not be enough to save her rapidly gentrifying neighborhood from becoming unrecognizable.

When the wealthy Darcy family moves in across the street, Zuri wants nothing to do with their two teenage sons, even as her older sister, Janae, starts to fall for the charming Ainsley. She especially can’t stand the judgmental and arrogant Darius. Yet as Zuri and Darius are forced to find common ground, their initial dislike shifts into an unexpected understanding.

But with four wild sisters pulling her in different directions, cute boy Warren vying for her attention, and college applications hovering on the horizon, Zuri fights to find her place in Bushwick’s changing landscape, or lose it all.

In a timely update of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, critically acclaimed author Ibi Zoboi skillfully balances cultural identity, class, and gentrification against the heady magic of first love in her vibrant reimagining of this beloved classic.

A Taste for Love Jennifer Yen ~ Pride and Prejudice Razorbill [Crystal’s Review]

To her friends, high school senior Liza Yang is nearly perfect. Smart, kind, and pretty, she dreams big and never shies away from a challenge. But to her mom, Liza is anything but. Compared to her older sister Jeannie, Liza is stubborn, rebellious, and worst of all, determined to push back against all of Mrs. Yang’s traditional values, especially when it comes to dating.

The one thing mother and daughter do agree on is their love of baking. Mrs. Yang is the owner of Houston’s popular Yin & Yang Bakery. With college just around the corner, Liza agrees to help out at the bakery’s annual junior competition to prove to her mom that she’s more than her rebellious tendencies once and for all. But when Liza arrives on the first day of the bake-off, she realizes there’s a catch: all of the contestants are young Asian American men her mother has handpicked for Liza to date.

The bachelorette situation Liza has found herself in is made even worse when she happens to be grudgingly attracted to one of the contestants; the stoic, impenetrable, annoyingly hot James Wong. As she battles against her feelings for James, and for her mother’s approval, Liza begins to realize there’s no tried and true recipe for love.

Scavenge the Stars by Tara Sim ~ The Count of Monte Cristo Disney Hyperion

When Amaya rescues a mysterious stranger from drowning, she fears her rash actions have earned her a longer sentence on the debtor ship where she’s been held captive for years. Instead, the man she saved offers her unimaginable riches and a new identity, setting Amaya on a perilous course through the coastal city-state of Moray, where old-world opulence and desperate gamblers collide.

Amaya wants one thing: revenge against the man who ruined her family and stole the life she once had. But the more entangled she becomes in this game of deception—and as her path intertwines with the son of the man she’s plotting to bring down—the more she uncovers about the truth of her past. And the more she realizes she must trust no one…

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn ~ Historia regum Britanniae, Le Morte d’Arthur, The Green Knight and other Arthuriana – see Tracy Deonn’s essay: Every King Arthur Retelling is Fanfic About Who Get’s to Be Legendary Margaret K. McElderry Books[K. Imani’s Review]

After her mother dies in an accident, sixteen-year-old Bree Matthews wants nothing to do with her family memories or childhood home. A residential program for bright high schoolers at UNC–Chapel Hill seems like the perfect escape—until Bree witnesses a magical attack her very first night on campus.

A flying demon feeding on human energies.

A secret society of so called “Legendborn” students that hunt the creatures down.

And a mysterious teenage mage who calls himself a “Merlin” and who attempts—and fails—to wipe Bree’s memory of everything she saw.

The mage’s failure unlocks Bree’s own unique magic and a buried memory with a hidden connection: the night her mother died, another Merlin was at the hospital. Now that Bree knows there’s more to her mother’s death than what’s on the police report, she’ll do whatever it takes to find out the truth, even if that means infiltrating the Legendborn as one of their initiates.

She recruits Nick, a self-exiled Legendborn with his own grudge against the group, and their reluctant partnership pulls them deeper into the society’s secrets—and closer to each other. But when the Legendborn reveal themselves as the descendants of King Arthur’s knights and explain that a magical war is coming, Bree has to decide how far she’ll go for the truth and whether she should use her magic to take the society down—or join the fight.

Tigers Not Daughters by Samantha Mabry ~ King Lear Algonquin Young Readers[Q&A with Author]

The Torres sisters dream of escape. Escape from their needy and despotic widowed father, and from their San Antonio neighborhood, full of old San Antonio families and all the traditions and expectations that go along with them. In the summer after her senior year of high school, Ana, the oldest sister, falls to her death from her bedroom window. A year later, her three younger sisters, Jessica, Iridian, and Rosa, are still consumed by grief and haunted by their sister’s memory. Their dream of leaving Southtown now seems out of reach. But then strange things start happening around the house: mysterious laughter, mysterious shadows, mysterious writing on the walls. The sisters begin to wonder if Ana really is haunting them, trying to send them a message—and what exactly she’s trying to say.

In a stunning follow-up to her National Book Award–longlisted novel All the Wind in the World, Samantha Mabry weaves an aching, magical novel that is one part family drama, one part ghost story, and one part love story.

Shame the Stars by Guadalupe Garcia McCall ~ Romeo & Juliet Tu Books [Crystal’s Review]

Eighteen-year-old Joaquín del Toro’s future looks bright. With his older brother in the priesthood, he’s set to inherit his family’s Texas ranch. He’s in love with Dulceña—and she’s in love with him. But it’s 1915, and trouble has been brewing along the US-Mexico border. On one side, the Mexican Revolution is taking hold; on the other, Texas Rangers fight Tejano insurgents, and ordinary citizens are caught in the middle.

As tensions grow, Joaquín is torn away from Dulceña, whose father’s critical reporting on the Rangers in the local newspaper has driven a wedge between their families. Joaquín’s own father insists that the Rangers are their friends, and refuses to take sides in the conflict. But when their family ranch becomes a target, Joaquín must decide how he will stand up for what’s right.

Shame the Stars is a rich reimagining of Romeo and Juliet set in Texas during the explosive years of Mexico’s revolution. Filled with period detail, captivating romance, and political intrigue, it brings Shakespeare’s classic to life in an entirely new way.

Summer of the Mariposas by Guadalupe Garcia McCall ~ The Odyssey Tu Books [Audrey’s Review]

When Odilia and her four sisters find a dead body in the swimming hole, they embark on a hero’s journey to return the dead man to his family in Mexico. But returning home to Texas turns into an odyssey that would rival Homer’s original tale.

With the supernatural aid of ghostly La Llorona via a magical earring, Odilia and her little sisters travel a road of tribulation to their long-lost grandmother’s house. Along the way, they must outsmart a witch and her Evil Trinity: a wily warlock, a coven of vicious half-human barn owls, and a bloodthirsty livestock-hunting chupacabras. Can these fantastic trials prepare Odilia and her sisters for what happens when they face their final test, returning home to the real world, where goddesses and ghosts can no longer help them?

Summer of the Mariposas is not just a magical Mexican American retelling of The Odyssey, it is a celebration of sisterhood and maternal love.

A Blade So Black by L.L. McKinney ~ Alice in Wonderland Imprint

The first time the Nightmares came, it nearly cost Alice her life. Now she’s trained to battle monstrous creatures in the dark dream realm known as Wonderland with magic weapons and hardcore fighting skills. Yet even warriors have a curfew.

Life in real-world Atlanta isn’t always so simple, as Alice juggles an overprotective mom, a high-maintenance best friend, and a slipping GPA. Keeping the Nightmares at bay is turning into a full-time job. But when Alice’s handsome and mysterious mentor is poisoned, she has to find the antidote by venturing deeper into Wonderland than she’s ever gone before. And she’ll need to use everything she’s learned in both worlds to keep from losing her head . . . literally.

*We didn’t include fairy tales. Happily, that could be an even longer list and will be a post for another day.

[that-soccer-guru]

Hello! It’s me again!!! :) How do you think everyone played today?

HI MY DEAR ANON, I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, I'VE BEEN SWAMPED WITH WORK BUT HERE ARE SOME THOUGHTS.

I know the scoreboard shows that Argentina got absolutely creamed, and honestly that's what I expected to see when I finally got to watch the game. But actually? The US just found their rhythm and the Argentinian players were just trying to do too many jobs to keep up with them. The first 20min of the game were exactly what I want to see out of Argentina from now on, and if Agus and Benitez had been healthy, the game would've maybe been much closer than it was. FUCKING FUND THE WOMEN'S TEAM AFA, FUCKS SAKES.

I am gonna say this right off the bat, the amount of fouls the US got away with during this cup? bro. Especially that KO high kick—I am not a fan of that shit. The fact that a high boot from Argentina got a card but not the high boot to the face from the US? hmmm.

Now, my opinionated opinions. I think a LOT of players showed their best this game. Rose and Press, flawless as always, amazing passes, great runs, really dangerous chances, just oof *chefs kiss* (there was a lil stretch of time before the first goal where Rose made some......... passing choices that were not great, she wasn't picking up her head and was just trying to move the ball forward so they were either ineffective or give aways, but she got it together eventually!)

Geriatrics United FC played really well. I think Pinoe got her stride in and figured out what kind of rotations work for her, she was making less runs to the back and not tiring herself out so much and I think it paid off really well. Lloyd had some really good passes, she was also not moving much past her line and it helped in keeping her sharp. I did love that moment when Cometti told her to stop diving, if you can't tell I love Cometti bc it takes an asshole with personality to tell Carli Lloyd that this isn't a swimming competition.

The defense, sharp as always. Broon and Baby T were holding the backline really well, most of the wing work came from KO in the first 30 so Krueger got to do a lot more backstop work this time, and I did like what I saw. The times she did go high she was putting in great passes and pushing good runs. I think it's not a surprise that I still like to keep my eye on Sonnett when she's on the field, and honestly I am yet to chalk up the hate to anything other than not liking her as a person? For most of the first half after she was subbed in she played double 6s with Ertz, she was putting in good passes, creating nice chances, she had a couple of great shots to the box that could've been goals if the receivers had pulled it off. She's a very physical defender, so what she does it... well.... defend? Clean tackles, great passes, she's trusted to move the ball forward when she needs to and she stays up with Ertz those times and I think it paid off really well, it was a great game for her. Idk what game some people were watching but I'm sure it wasn't this one. Midge, baby Midge, my lil sky flop child, they need to dig her the fuck out of that defense spot now. She really is out there doing her damnedest but you can see it in her game that this isn't her position. Vlatko even swapped Sonnett to the left so Midge could slot into her usual NT position, and it paid off for Sonnett but definitely not for Midge. I just hate to see her in the back.

Ertz, well, JP said it best the woman is a workhorse. 3 games at 90min, that's also bc this team doesn't have great permanent 6s BUT I think that Tierna would've held that spot really well. If they were trying to rest Dahlkemper though it would've been a harder choice. But I digress. She had a better game than the last two, less dumbass fouls, less MMA style moments, good passes, overall I ain't mad at her performance on the field.

BUT OH BOY HER SUB! I'VE BEEN SO EXCITED TO SEE JAELIN HOWELL!!!! Aside from headbutting captain Broon, I think kid did her duty. With enough time to develop and good coaching, and probably training more often with someone like Ertz, she'll be a great Defensive Mid. She has some really good instincts and watching her play, for someone who likes defenders as much as I do, is amazing. (The headbutting was hilarious though, especially because Broon is built from tough shit and nothing short of being stabbed MIGHT keep her down).

Sophia Smith is also another youngling getting to grow used to the NT and I think she did really well. If she can stay healthy she can be a promising replacement for the I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up FC on the edge of retirement.

Okay uh, I'm ngl i forgot Horan was on the field. I expect someone in a playmaking positions to make plays and I didn't see it from her so, eh. Don't get me wrong she had a good game, good passes, as always very physical but this time remarkably less WWE moments, I just expect her Thorns self to show up for the NT and it never happens. Similar to my problem with Alex Morgan except my issue with her is that she can't stay onside to save her freaking life and that is a big problem. She's not particularly physical so everytime she takes part in recovery efforts I know it'll end in a whistle and her dropping like a sack of potatoes, and it usually does. I know she got a goal but Y'all, we can't deny that it was all Sophia Smith fucking hustling. Alex did what she does best, find that sweet spot for a goal, but I don't think that was Alex Morgan being a great player as much as it was Sophia Smith giving her the perfect goal chance.

Now, dear reader, if you made it this far you may be wondering "what about Kristie Mewis!?!?!?" and you know what, fair question. What about KMew. I struggle so much with her because she's been so good. She had great moments in this game, she played a full 90, had a VERY pretty goal, made some good shots at goal. So, what's my issue? I wish I could say she's going to the Olympics. I really want to say she did enough and she's a shoe in for the roster, because holy shit did you see her out there!? Her long passed were nice, her short passes were tight as hell, she was making runs all over the place, she was helping make recoveries, making good passes, taking those shots. I just wish this midfield wasn't as stacked so I can say that her spot is safe. But I can't so I don't know how to comment on her going forward without the roster conversation. HOWEVER she had a great fucking game, and I do love to see her thriving out here. It's a Kristie Mewis world and we're just living in it.

SO, I'm sorry it took so long for me to get this out. But I did want to watch the game to understand how and why the hell Argentina got absolutely smashed when they'd been playing so well the last few games. Injuries really did them in, and the US exploited that really well. Overall I'm looking forward to what happens with this roster. They're getting more dynamic and more efficient at the things they do well, there's a lot of dumbass choices they need to learn to be better in but overall this was a MUCH better game.

[pyvs]

If you could only save 5 songs off your playlist, what would they be?

thank u @edgarwight (andré)for tagging me. picking the best songs is hard for me to pick.

Futile Devices - Sufjan Stevens

Mind Fields - No Vacation

Cayman Islands- Kings Of Convience

Comfortable - Lontalius

Please Let Her Go - Zild Benitez

i’m tagging @supergeekytoon @snovyda @antitomcruise @diataragmenos and @nogoatshere .

[collectorscorner]

CC Blogger - New Arrivals @ Collectors Corner : Wednesday - 7/17/19

CC Blogger - New Arrivals @ Collectors Corner : Wednesday - 7/17/19Complete list of items shipping to the stores, some items may be limited in availability. If you see anything you want to purchase on the list and are not a subscription member at Collectors Corner, just contact us and let us know if you want an item held at the stores. email - collectorscornermd@comcast.net Subscription Membership & Free Membership Card : Collectors Corner’s No Obligation (FREE) Membership Card or FREE (In Store) & ONLINE Subscription Membership saves you 10% Off ALL Bagged & Boarded Comic Book Back Issues, Board Games, Graphic Novels, Manga & Special Orders. Plus Never miss a comic again! Computerized and organized + you can add and cancel titles on your subscription list from home on your own time, or in the store when you pick up your comics at : Maryland’s Coolest Stores! Since 2001. 3 Convenient Locations - CC PARKVILLE HQ 7911 Harford Rd Parkville, MD 21234 CC BALTIMORE - OUTPOST 403 North Charles St. Baltimore, MD 21201 CC BEL AIR - OUTPOST 17 N. Main St. Bel Air, MD 21014 www.collectorscornermd.com NEW ARRIVALS : WEDNESDAY - 7/17/19 ABRAMS COMICARTS Magic The Gathering Rise Of The Gatewatch A Visual History HC, $19.99 AC COMICS Golden Age Greats Spotlight Volume 19 TP, $29.95 ACTION LAB ENTERTAINMENT Princeless Volume 8 Princesses TP, $14.99 AFTERSHOCK COMICS Animosity #22, $3.99 Dead Kings Volume 1 TP, $14.99 Mary Shelley Monster Hunter #4, $3.99 Out Of The Blue Volume 2 HC, $19.99 AHOY COMICS Bronze Age Boogie #4, $3.99 ALBATROSS FUNNYBOOKS Grumble Volume 1 You're The Dog Now Man TP, $17.99 AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY PRODUCTIONS Moon Maid #2 (Cover A Alex Miracolo), $3.99 Moon Maid #2 (Cover B Puis Calzada Depths Variant), $3.99 Moon Maid #2 (Cover C Sparacio Virgin Variant), $9.99 Vampire PA Bite Out Of Crime #1 (Cover A Billy Tucci), $3.99 Vampire PA Bite Out Of Crime #1 (Cover B Asha Kishna), $3.99 AMIGO COMICS Planet Of Daemons The Eye Of Lucifer GN, $19.99 ARCANA STUDIO Zipper Cosmic Jungle TP, $14.95 ARCHIE COMIC PUBLICATIONS Betty And Veronica Friends Jumbo Comics Digest #272, $6.99 Blossoms 666 #5 (Of 5)(Cover A Laura Braga), $3.99 Blossoms 666 #5 (Of 5)(Cover B Adam Gorham), $3.99 Blossoms 666 #5 (Of 5)(Cover C Patrick Zircher), $3.99 Jughead The Hunger Volume 3 TP, $17.99 Jughead The Hunger Vs Vampironica #3 (Cover A Pat Kennedy & Tim Kennedy), $3.99 Jughead The Hunger Vs Vampironica #3 (Cover B Dan Panosian), $3.99 Jughead The Hunger Vs Vampironica #3 (Cover C Cat Staggs), $3.99 Jughead's Time Police #2 (Of 5)(Cover A Derek Charm), $3.99 Jughead's Time Police #2 (Of 5)(Cover B Erica Henderson), $3.99 Jughead's Time Police #2 (Of 5)(Cover C Tito Pena), $3.99 ASPEN COMICS Fathom Volume 8 #3 (Cover A Mauricio Camptella), $3.99 Fathom Volume 8 #3 (Cover B Michael Turner), $3.99 Fathom Volume 8 #3 (Cover C Siya Oum), AR BENITEZ PRODUCTIONS Lady Mechanika Sangre #2 (Of 5)(Cover A Joe Benitez), $3.99 Lady Mechanika Sangre #2 (Of 5)(Cover B Brian Ching), $3.99 Lady Mechanika Sangre #2 (Of 5)(Cover C Joe Benitez Black & White Variant, AR BOOM! STUDIOS Bags Or A Story Thereof GN, $12.99 Black Badge #12 (Cover A Matt Kindt), $3.99 Black Badge #12 (Cover B Tyler Jenkins & Hilary Jenkins), $3.99 By Night Volume 2 TP, $14.99 Empty Man Recurrence TP, $14.99 Faithless #4 (Of 5)(Cover A Paul Pope), $3.99 Faithless #4 (Of 5)(Cover B Jenny Frison Erotica Variant), $3.99 Faithless #4 (Of 5)(Cover C David Rubin), AR Firefly #8 (Cover A Lee Garbett), $3.99 Firefly #8 (Cover B Joe Quinones), $3.99 Firefly #8 (Cover C David Nakayama), AR Firefly #8 (Cover D Juan Doe), AR Jim Henson's The Storyteller Sirens #4 (Cover A Cory Godbey), $3.99 Jim Henson's The Storyteller Sirens #4 (Cover B Aud Koch), $3.99 Ronin Island Volume 1 TP (Discover Now Edition), $14.99 Smooth Criminals #7 (Of 12)(Cover A Audrey Mok), $3.99 CAVE PICTURES PUBLISHING Blessed Machine #5, $3.99 No Ones #2, $3.99 COMIC SHOP NEWS Comic Shop News #1674, AR DANGER ZONE Danger Doll Squad Presents Amalgama Lives Volume 1 TP, $14.99 Null Faeries Volume 1 Dust Pilot Down TP, $14.99 DARK HORSE COMICS B.P.R.D. The Devil You Know Volume 3 Ragna Rok TP, $19.99 Creepy Archives Volume 29 HC, $49.99 Disney Dracula Starring Mickey Mouse TP, $10.99 Disney Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs #2 (Of 3), $3.99 Joe Golem Occult Detective The Conjurors #3 (Of 5), $3.99 LaGuardia TP, $19.99 Neil Gaiman's American Gods The Moment Of The Storm #4 (Cover A Glenn Fabry), $3.99 Neil Gaiman's American Gods The Moment Of The Storm #4 (Cover B David Mack), $3.99 Orville #1, $3.99 Quiet Kind #1 (One Shot), $5.99 Trout The Hollowest Knock #2 (Of 4), $3.99 Usagi Yojimbo Volume 33 The Hidden HC (Limited Edition), $59.99 Witcher Volume 4 Of Flesh And Flame TP, $17.99 DC COMICS Aquaman #50 (Cover A Robson Rocha & Jason Paz), $4.99 Aquaman #50 (Cover B Ryan Sook Card Stock Variant), AR Batman #75 (Cover A Tony S. Daniel), $4.99 Batman #75 (Cover B Gabriele Dell'Otto Card Stock Variant), AR Batman #75 (Cover C Blank Variant), AR Collapser #1 (Of 6)(Cover A Ilias Kyriazis), $3.99 Collapser #1 (Of 6)(Cover B Nick Derington), AR Green Arrow Volume 7 Citizen's Arrest TP, $16.99 Justice League #28 (Cover A Jim Cheung), $3.99 Justice League #28 (Cover B Terry Dodson & Rachel Dodson), AR Justice League Volume 3 Hawkworld TP, $17.99 Lucifer #10, $3.99 Nightwing #62 (Cover A Bruno Redondo), $3.99 Nightwing #62 (Cover B Greg Capullo Card Stock Variant), $4.99 Pearl #11 (Cover A Michael Gaydos), $3.99 Pearl #11 (Cover B Taki Soma), AR Sandman Volume 10 The Wake 30th Anniversary Edition TP, $19.99 Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #1 (Of 12)(Cover A Steve Lieber), $3.99 Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #1 (Of 12)(Cover B Ben Oliver), AR Teen Titans #32 (Cover A Giuseppe Camuncoli), $3.99 Teen Titans #32 (Cover B Alex Garner Card Stock Variant), AR Teen Titans Go #35, $2.99 Wonder Woman Come Back To Me #1 (Of 6), $4.99 Wonder Woman Volume 9 The Enemy Of Both Sides TP, $19.99 DYNAMITE ENTERTAINMENT Elvira Mistress Of The Dark #7 (Cover A Lucio Parillo), $3.99 Elvira Mistress Of The Dark #7 (Cover B Craig Cermak), $3.99 Elvira Mistress Of The Dark #7 (Cover C John Royle), $3.99 Elvira Mistress Of The Dark #7 (Cover D Photo), $3.99 Elvira Mistress Of The Dark #7 (Cover E Roberto Castro), AR Elvira Mistress Of The Dark #7 (Cover F Craig Cermak Virgin Variant), AR Elvira Mistress Of The Dark #7 (Cover G Roberto Castro Black & White Variant), AR Elvira Mistress Of The Dark #7 (Cover H John Royle Black & White Variant), AR Elvira Mistress Of The Dark #7 (Cover I Lucio Parrillo Virgin Variant), AR James Bond 007 #9 (Cover A Dave Johnson), $3.99 James Bond 007 #9 (Cover B Khoi Pham), $3.99 James Bond 007 #9 (Cover C Kano), $3.99 James Bond 007 #9 (Cover D Eric Gapstur), $3.99 James Bond 007 #9 (Cover E Dave Johnson Virgin Variant), AR James Bond 007 #9 (Cover F Khoi Pham Virgin Variant), AR James Bond 007 #9 (Cover G Kano Virgin Variant), AR James Bond 007 #9 (Cover H Eric Gapstur Virgin Variant), AR Turok #4 (Cover A Rags Morales), $3.99 Turok #4 (Cover B Butch Guice), $3.99 Turok #4 (Cover C Rags Morales Black & White Variant), AR Turok #4 (Cover D Butch Guice Black & White Variant), AR Turok #4 (Cover E Rags Morales Virgin Variant), AR Turok #4 (Cover F Butch Guice Virgin Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (1969 Replica Edition), $6.99 Vampirella #1 (Cover A Frank Cho), $3.99 Vampirella #1 (Cover B Alex Ross), $3.99 Vampirella #1 (Cover C Joe Jusko), $3.99 Vampirella #1 (Cover D Guillem March), $3.99 Vampirella #1 (Cover E Cosplay), $3.99 Vampirella #1 (Cover G Adam Hughes Vampirella Homage Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover H Stanley Artgerm Lau Sneak Peek Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover I Adam Hughes Vampirella Homage Black & White Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover J Stanley Artgerm Lau Sneak Peek Virgin Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover K Cosplay Virgin Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover L Guillem March Virgin Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover M Alex Ross Black & White Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover N J. Scott Campbell Icon Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover O Frank Frazetta Icon Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover P Blank Authentix Variant), $3.99 Vampirella #1 (Cover Q Sanjulian), $19.69 Vampirella #1 (Cover R Frank Cho Wraparound Virgin Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover S Alex Ross Virgin Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover T Joe Jusko Virgin Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover U Adam Hughes Virgin Variant), AR Vampirella #1 (Cover V Jose Gonzalez), AR EAGLEMOSS PUBLICATIONS Battlestar Galactica Ships Collection Magazine #9 (Cylon Raider Classic), $60.00 Wizarding World Figurine Collection Magazine #3 (Dementor), $19.95 Wizarding World Figurine Collection Magazine #5 (Harry Potter), $19.95 FANTAGRAPHICS BOOKS How I Tried To Be A Good Person HC, $34.99 Love And Rockets Magazine #7, $4.99 GEMSTONE PUBLISHING Big Big Overstreet Price Guide Volume 49 SC (Billy Tucci Shi Cover), $49.50 Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide Volume 49 HC (Diego Galindo Firefly Cover), $35.00 Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide Volume 49 HC (Michael Wm Kaluta Hall Of Fame Zorro Cover), $35.00 Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide Volume 49 HC (Tony S. Daniel Batman's Rogues Gallery Cover), $35.00 Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide Volume 49 SC (Diego Galindo Firefly Cover), $29.95 Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide Volume 49 SC (Michael Wm Kaluta Hall Of Fame Zorro Cover), $29.95 Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide Volume 49 SC (Tony S. Daniel Batman's Rogues Gallery Cover), $29.95 GHOST SHIP To Love Ru Darkness Volume 11 GN, $12.99 HERMES PRESS Phantom The Complete Newspaper Dailies Volume 16 1958-1959 HC, $60.00 HERO TOMORROW COMICS Apama The Undiscovered Animal #11 (Cover A Benito Gallego), $3.99 Apama The Undiscovered Animal #11 (Cover B Benito Gallego Worn-Out Bronze Age Tap Dance Killer Variant), $3.99 HORRORHOUND Horrorhound 2019 Spring Annual, $5.00 IDW PUBLISHING Amber Blake #4 (Of 5)(Butch Guice 2nd Printing Variant Cover), $3.99 Bram Stoker's Dracula TP, $19.99 Clue Candlestick #3 (Of 3)(Cover A Dash Shaw), $4.99 Clue Candlestick #3 (Of 3)(Cover B Dash Shaw Triptych Variant), AR Clue Candlestick #3 (Of 3)(Cover C Kevin Huizenga), AR For Better Or For Worse The Complete Library Volume 3 1986-1989 HC, $49.99 From Hell Master Edition #6 (Cover A Eddie Campbell), $7.99 G.I. Joe A Real American Hero #264 (Cover A Netho Diaz), $3.99 G.I. 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[ladyherenya]

Books read in April

Holidays are an ideal time to find oneself with a pile of library books to read. The downside to having gone away with a pile of books is having too many books to write about afterwards.

I also reviewed the short stories I listened to: “Intro to Prom” and “Semiramis” by Genevieve Valentine, “The Shipmaker” by Aliette de Bodard and “When We Were Starless” by Simone Heller.

Favourite cover: Stand in the Sky!

Reread: Once again, didn’t get to the book I’d planned to reread.

Still reading: Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee.

Next up: Begin, End, Begin: A #LoveOzYa Anthology. A Thousand Sisters: The Heroic Airwomen of the Soviet Union in World War II by Elizabeth Wein. Maybe Ancestral Night by Elizabeth Bear.

(Longer reviews and ratings are on LibraryThing. And also Dreamwidth.)

Pride by Ibi Zoboi (narrated by Elizabeth Acevedo): Seventeen year old Zuri Benitez is proud of her family, her Haitian-Dominican heritage and the community of her Brooklyn neighbourhood. She’s unimpressed by changes like gentrification or the wealthy Darcy family moving in across the street. This contemporary YA remix twists the events of P&P fit Zuri’s context, allowing the story explore cultural identity, class and dealing with change, and for Zuri’s relationship with Darius makes sense for 21st century teenagers. It’s a cute teen romance but most powerful as a love-letter to Zuri’s hood. The audiobook brought it to life even more vividly.

Stand on the Sky by Erin Bow: Achingly beautiful. It kept making me tear up because while it’s only sometimes sad -- while this is a hopeful and joyous story -- it captures twelve year old Aisulu’s emotions so intensely. When her older brother is taken to hospital, Aisulu is left behind with their herds and relatives and throws herself into raising an eaglet. A fascinating insight into nomadic Kazakhs living in Mongolia and into the challenges and the rewards of eagle-hunting. I love the prose, sense of place and characters; I love Aisulu’s relationships and the way this is her story -- her journey.

Song of the Current by Sarah Tolcser: Caro has grown up on the river with her father, a wherryman and a smuggler. She’s offered her first job in exchange for her father’s freedom -- to deliver a crate, unopened, to Valonikos. But when she opens the crate, its occupant has other ideas about their destination. This YA fantasy shines the strongest in the skills and knowledge Caro has about sailing and about river life. I enjoyed the rest, but some things happened a bit too quickly for me to feel invested.

Undying by Amie Kaufman and Meagan Spooner: I wasn’t very enthusiastic about Unearthed but this sequel was a lot of fun to read. High-stakes and satisfying. There’s escaping and travelling across Europe incognito and trying to save the world. And it got to build upon what had previously been established, so there’s more nuance and it all felt more believable. After reading these authors’ other books, I was confident that everything would turn out okay. I’d have liked the ending more if the authors had surprised me and there had been a higher cost -- but this is a YA novel and teenage-me certainly wouldn’t have wanted that.

Cobalt Squadron by Elizabeth Wein (narrated by Kelly Marie Tran): I didn’t find The Last Jedi very satisfying but I’m a fan of Elizabeth Wein, so I listened to this story about a mission that Rose, her sister Paige and the rest of Cobalt Squadron are involved with. Knowing that the Tico sisters survive lessened the tension somewhat, but I liked getting to know them better. (I also know that Wein is capable of writing more complex and harrowing stories but that’s not what this one is aiming for.) The audiobook includes Star Wars music and sound effects. I’d love to see music and sound effects used in more audiobooks.

A Question of Holmes by Brittany Cavallaro: Charlotte Holmes and Jamie Watson are attending an Oxford summer program before they start university. Charlotte is asked to investigate a mystery involving the drama society. It’s a quieter mystery than the preceding ones but I am not going to complain about that. I’m happy to read about mysteries at Oxford! Towards the end Charlotte makes a decision which I thought needed to be foreshadowed better and then the epilogue rushed over some things, and I wasn’t totally satisfied. I also found Charlotte’s references to things like “fall”, even though she’s living back in the UK, jarring. Minor-ish quibbles?

The True Queen by Zen Cho: The companion to Sorcerer to the Crown. This took a while to hook me, but once the story got underway, I enjoyed guessing where it was all headed. It is a delightfully diverse Regency fantasy, with some satisfying twists. If I have any quibbles, it’s that I wanted a better resolution for something -- and maybe also just more of the ending? I don’t quite know... I didn’t spend much time analysing my reaction and it was now over half a dozen books ago.

Scorch Dragons by Amie Kaufman: In the sequel to Ice Wolves, 12 year old Anders and his twin sister find themselves on different sides of the conflict between wolves and dragons, but they work together with their friends to prevent a second war. The riddle-solving and questing for a hidden objects reminded me of Deltora Quest, which I enjoyed when I was Anders’ age. A very satisfying sort of adventure.

European Travel for the Monstrous Gentlewoman by Theodora Goss (narrated by Kate Reading): In the sequel to The Strange Case of the Alchemist’s Daughter, Mary Jekyll and Justine Frankenstein set off for Europe to rescue Lucinda Van Helsing at the request of Mary’s former governess, Mina Murray, and receive help and hospitality from people like Irene Adler and Carmilla. I particularly enjoyed the Athena Club’s interjections and digressions in the narrative, and interactions with each other. They make a great team. Kate Reading does a great job with all the voices and accents, which made the story all the more engaging. Even at 1.5 speed (due to 20+ hours of audiobook to get through!) it was easy to keep track of who was speaking.

The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie: I liked it! It’s engaging, intriguing and doing some surprisingly-similar things to Ancillary Justice (which I loved), such as: a first-person narrator who neither human nor omnipotent but has greater awareness and abilities; an interesting use of pronouns -- Eolo’s actions are described in the second-person; and a story about the past eventually collides with the story about the present. I completely missed that this is ALSO themes and variations on Hamlet. That might explain why I found the ending incredibly satisfying for the first-person narrator but I was expecting something more from -- for? -- Eolo.

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black: I borrowed this because it has a delightful map by Kathleen Jennings, it’s a finalist for the Lodestar Award, and I liked the last book I read by Black. It’s an interesting exploration of what it means to love terrible things, with a clear-sighted awareness of their flaws, but I spent most of the story thinking “I hate faeries” and wishing Jude could escape them. Then the plot did its thing, and I had to admit that this is a successful piece of storytelling, if still not quite my thing.

The Austen Playbook by Lucy Parker: Parker’s fourth romance about actors from the West End -- in which Freddy accepts the role of Lydia Bennet in The Austen Playbook, a televised, audience-interactive murder mystery theatre production -- is a lot of fun. Having an interesting setting and plot outside of the romance definitely enhances my enjoyment of the story. This had Jane Austen and Harry Potter references, rehearsal tensions, important family relationships, a mystery involving a (fictional) play, banter, and a lively actress and a grumpy theatre critic who are honest with each other.

The Place on Dalhousie by Melina Marchetta: This is about Jimmy Hailler (from Saving Francesca), now in his mid 20s. But it is equally about Rosie, who meets Jimmy in a Queensland town during a flood, Rosie’s stepmother Martha and the house built by Seb, Rosie’s late-father. It’s a powerfully moving story about grief, friendship and finding family. It’s shorter than Marchetta’s more-recent novels and I finished it feeling oddly disappointed, like it needed to be longer. Then I reread the book the following day, and reconsidered. I’d like more, certainly, but it is a satisfying story as it is.

From Clarkesworld Magazine, narrated by Kate Baker:

“Intro to Prom” by Genevieve Valentine (Issue 133): About four teenagers for whom prom is like a game they play, a way to pass the time. It is intriguing but bleak.

“Semiramis” by Genevieve Valentine (Issue 57): This is Valentine-ishly bleak and yet satisfyingly so? 

The worst thing about being a sleeper embedded somewhere long-term was that inevitably, eventually, you started to care. The worst thing about being embedded long-term as an administrator at the Svalbard Seed Vault was that when you inevitably started to care, you started to care about things like proper political geo-temperate arrangement of seeds, and there was just no one else in their right mind who was going to care about that with you.

“The Shipmaker” by Aliette de Bodard (Issue 124): Set in the same universe as The Tea Master and the Detective. It is intriguing but sad, and I wonder if I’d appreciate it more if I read more of de Bodard’s stories and understood the context better.

“When We Were Starless” by Simone Heller (Issue 145): This has been nominated for the Hugo for Best Novelette and I can see why! It’s a hopeful story about survival, questioning what society teaches and finding a way to a better future. There’s also an AI with feelings.

Once, I might have felt out of place, an unwelcome disturbance. But I had left my fear of ghosts behind like an old skin a long time ago, and what I had found instead was the unforeseen, and sometimes pure beauty.

[virtuissimo]

Pride by Ibi Zoboi (Review)

This book is a modern retelling of the Jane Austen’s seminal classic Pride & Prejudice. Zuri Luz Benitez is a black Haitian-Dominican teenager in her senior year of high school whose identity is constructed around her life in Bushwick, a neighborhood with a tight community that is going through aggressive gentrification. Across the street, in one of the new gentrified houses, the Darcy family moves in, including twins Ainsley and Darius, two rich private-school boys sticking out like a fish out of water.

Zoboi’s adaptation creates amazing parallels when compared one-to-one with P&P, but it can’t hold its own very well. The writing is a simplistic and the characterization for most of the named characters is extremely one-dimensional. I was taken a bit by surprise when I found it in the youth section, and the simple writing makes me confused about the age of the intended audience. In any case, I didn’t have a bad time reading this, but I was expecting a lot more than I got.

To expand a little on the intended audience, I think my confusion is mostly because of the conflicting styles. On one hand, Zoboi’s prose is very simple and almost hamfisted in how she handles her characters and story. Other than some nice and age-appropriate poetry from Zuri herself, the rest of the book isn’t very elegant in writing quality. So I said to myself, ok I found it in the youth section. It’s intended for a younger audience. However, all the central characters are in their senior year of high school, and there are numerous allusions to sex and cusses that I’m not sure would fly in middle fiction. I think those who are in this reading level will find the characters too old and teenagery, while those who are the main character’s ages will find the prose to be lacking. Zuri in specific is a voracious reader, and she herself would not have the patience to enjoy reading this book which is far below her reading level.

It’s easier to read this book for what it’s supposed to be saying rather than what it is saying, if that makes any sense. For instance, Darius when he first shows up is quiet and doesn’t offer much information about himself, but he also wasn’t very rude or belligerent upon first impression. I know “prejudice” is half the thing, but Zuri really jumps the gun and kind of started the whole feud in the first place. It just wasn’t that believable that he was some jerk who deserved her hatred like it was with Elizabeth Bennet, and similarly it wasn’t very believable when she later learns that she just misinterpreted his social awkwardness.

Also, I thought it was interesting that the title removed the “prejudice” when to me that seemed like a much bigger aspect of this version than in Austen’s work. For instance, Darius makes a number of disparaging remarks about Bushwick and its “ghetto” people, but even before he makes these remarks Zuri already “hates” him based on stuff she made up about him in her head. And then later, when they begin to get closer, she actually never confronts him about his prejudice and just. Forgives and forgets.

She also forgives and forgets when it comes to Ainsley and Janae. This bothered me a lot more than some of my other nitpicking because it actually changes one of the important themes of P&P. Not that Zoboi doesn’t have the right to alter thematic elements—she absolutely does! But the theme of family and the fact that Zuri would do ANYTHING for her sisters is told to the reader through a lot of exposition, but we don’t actually see it. The moment in the car when she finds out that Darius split up Ainsley and Janae is really representative of that for me. She got angry in the moment, but she never actually investigates to find out WHY he did it like Elizabeth in P&P. On that note, later on when she forgives him, she never asks him to account for it again.

In fact, character motivation and appropriate emotional buildup was a recurring issue in this book. Nothing hit quite like I think Zoboi intended them to.

The talk on gentrification and class difference is good tho. Perhaps incomplete, but there’s only so much space. They really show how class plays a role in a variety of different circumstances and scenarios, and I think Zoboi succeeds here where others have failed.

Some of the parallels that I liked:

-          Warren and Colin took me OUT when they first appeared. You can really see what Zoboi thinks about Mr. Wickham and Mr. Collins from the original lol.

-          The tour of Howard instead of touring the Darcy home was very interesting to me. I think it was a great introduction to how she wasn’t expecting her world to expand so much, and that there’s a lot of different experiences in the world that she’s missing, and she gets introduced to this idea by people who AREN’T Darius and Ainsley. I really liked that.

-          The leopard print and “inappropriate dress” that the Benitez family wore to the Darcy cocktail party. It seems like a good way to show how respectability politics still play into the modern day, and it added a bit of character to the Benitez family as a prototypical Latinx family that I really enjoyed.

-          The Warren and Georgia situation was also a good way to translate this into the modern day.

-          P&P: In order to avoid scandal, Darcy pays for a marriage between a 16 year old and a 20-something known scumbag, and this is seen as a good thing because it saved the Bennet family. Zoboi’s Pride: Darius beats the shit out of Warren. I REALLY CRIED, THIS IS WHAT I WANT OUT OF AN ADAPTATION.

Things I didn’t like so much:

-          Ainsley x Janae is treated like a veeery minor side story instead of being a secondary plot. One of the big things in P&P is that Jane and Bingley are the prototypical pure love story and they think they are the main characters. Ainsley and Janae are not given much space to breathe in the narrative, and their relationship comes across as an afterthought instead of as one of the principal plot threads.

-          The diversion with Darius’ grandmother was also thrown in there like an afterthought. It didn’t add much to the story other than showing that Darius will side with Zuri when push comes to shove. It still felt like it took up a lot more time than it needed to if the grandmother wasn’t going to appear again at the end of the book like in the original. If it’s role to the plot was going to be minimized like that, I don’t really understand why it was included at all.

-          Charlise and Colin as a pair also felt out of place. In the original, Mr. Collins and Charlotte weren’t a major part of the story, but they contributed to the narrative that Austen wanted to tell about marriage and the different types of marriages that exist in English society at the time. Charlise and Colin don’t really have that effect on the story at all. Both characters are completely irrelevant to the plot (except Colin in the last possible moment), and they’re only really there to BE an adaptation.

-          Some of the plot beats were rearranged. I didn’t mind this so much since any number of directorial decisions are valid so long as the have a positive impact on the adaptation’s goal, but I didn’t really see how they added much.

One thing I REALLY liked was the addition of Madrina. I’m not sure if she’s a reference to something I don’t remember from the text or a completely original addition, but I thought she made for some really interesting moments. I especially loved how much connection Zuri felt with her Orisha worship and that they called her “daughter of Ochun.” I would change NOTHING about this, it was pure and really sweet.

One adaptation I WISH Zoboi had made was to have Zuri call out Darius’ hypocrisy. In P&P, the Bennetts are certainly in a different social class from Darcy and the Bingleys, but they’re ultimately still property owners in Britain. The stakes are different here. Darius keeps talking about how things in his life aren’t perfect just because he’s rich (which is absolutely true, especially when Zoboi starts getting into his experience as a black teenager surrounded by white classmates), but he is STILL not really understanding the difference in experience between himself and Zuri. The thing is, although she’s not right to judge Darius’ whole personality, she absolutely IS right about a lot of his privilege at the very beginning, but she kind of lets that go after a while. Zuri confronts Darius about his wealth many times, but to me at least it doesn’t really seem like she was able to convince him that his whole outlook on life is fundamentally different because of his wealth. Idk maybe I’m grasping at straws here. I just wish that Darius had actually talked about like . trying to persuade his parents to donate more to charity, or doing community service, or idk DISTRIBUTING THE WEALTH. Darius doesn’t change much in the story. At the beginning, he’s like “sorry im rich but lmfao you’re being mean to me!” and then at the end he is like “I am simply a rich boy, I cannot change this” which is barely a difference at all.

Anyways. I really didn’t hate this book. I wanted to like it a lot more than I did, which is why I have all these criticisms about it.

I recommend this to anyone who wants to read a thoughtprovoking discussion on class through the lens of one of history’s most overrated love stories (speaking as someone who loves P&P: yea it’s overrated). Read it for Zuri and Darius, who are totally different people from Elizabeth and Darcy. Read it for nostalgia, because even though I don’t know what it feels like to be one of 5 Afrolatine kids in Bushwick, I Felt that family affection.

3/5 for having great ideas but not such great execution.